Q: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?

A: The “C”!

Q: What did the tree say to the wind?

A: Leaf me alone!

Q: What does a spider’s bride wear?

A: A webbing dress.

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Justin.
Person 2: Justin who?
Person 1: Justin time for dinner!

Q. Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

A. They each got six months.

Q. Why did the opera singer go on a cruise?

A. She wanted to hit the high Cs.

Q. What do you do if you see a spaceman?

A. Park your car, man.

I started writing a story about a broken pencil, but I gave up because it was pointless.